Accepted and Denied

I meant to write this post on Friday while things were fresh in my mind, but I think I just wanted to ignore it for a while...

First, I had a volunteer shift at Dress for Success which reminded me to mention that I have actually volunteered more than five times, so I was able to cross that off a few months ago (#87)!  I really enjoy my shifts there... working with the women who come in, puttering around the store, and visiting with the other volunteers and employees.  Because it's so interactive with the women we're helping, I really get a sense of having accomplished something and that I'm doing something truly useful.  More so than if I were just making phone calls or doing paperwork or something along that line.  So I try to schedule one shift per month.  Because of the times they have available and my rotating work schedule, that's usually all I can do.  But the volunteer coordinator always makes it seem like she's thrilled for whatever I can sign up for, so I don't feel too bad that I can't go more often.  Which is nice.  I would like to keep doing this, so I hope it will continue to work out with my schedule.

After my volunteer shift, I sucked it up and drove to a gun shop/range (#76).

A few weeks ago, I had done some research online and found that the options are actually pretty limited around here if you don't have a membership to a private shooting range.  But there are two gun stores that have practice ranges and will also rent you a gun if you don't have your own, which I obviously don't.  Now I will say again that I most emphatically do not like guns.  Even while I was reading about them online, I felt nauseous.  But it was nothing like how I felt while I was actually driving to the store.  I truly felt like I was going to throw up.  As in I honestly thought that I was going to have to pull over and throw up in a parking lot somewhere.  Then my hands started getting shaky.  Which is probably not a good thing if you are about to go shoot again, even if it is on an indoor practice range surrounded by thick bulletproof glass.

I went in and was told that the wait would be 30-45 minutes.  There were quite a few people standing around waiting with camo bags containing God only knows what kind of weapons.  When I asked about renting a gun and not knowing what I needed, though, I was told that I would have to come back with someone who knew how to shoot.  Apparently they don't allow you on the practice range unless you already know what you're doing.  I hadn't called ahead and asked about this, because I had read some reviews online about people getting help from employees.  But again, apparently this is only if you already have some knowledge and you're just trying out something new.  So they gave me the business card for a man who can meet you there and instruct you on how to use a gun, and they politely asked me to leave.

I really wish I had been able to just get it over with then and there, even though I physically was feeling so wretched by this point.  I didn't know this was going to turn into such an event.  It's getting fairly expensive, too, with the range fee, gun rental fee, cost of purchasing ammunition, and now having to have a tutor along for the ride.  I should have just had my step-father take me out in the woods with one of his rifles the last time I was down there visiting, but I didn't want to have to explain why I was asking him to do it.  *sigh*  So this is something I'll have to revisit at a later date.  I'll keep you posted...

update:  I was re-reading mypost, and the important thing that I forgot to mention is that while I dislike guns so much, I never expected to have such a physical reaction.  In fact I can think of only a couple of times in my entire life that I have had this sort of experience, and only once or time that was this strong.  If it hadn't felt so horrible, I would generally find it interesting in a clinical sort of way.  Not to make light of the situation, but I have always had an irrational fear of being murdered.  Maybe I was shot to death in a former life...

Book, book... opera?

I have been doing plenty of reading, although I feel like I have been just slogging through the books on my list (#69).  It almost feels like there is the pace for when I read normally and then a much, much slower pace for when I get to the books on my list!  I think maybe it's the type of books, but I can't quite put my finger on it.  Anyway, I have finished two more books, which does tip me over the half-way point!  woo-hoo!

The first one was Life of Pi.  I really enjoyed this book.  It was a good story in addition to being the kind of book that makes you think.  One thought I kept having throughout the whole thing was, "wow, I would have been dead within the first 10 minutes of this whole disaster, and if I had survived to that point, I definitely wouldn't have made it past a few days".  This guy had survival skills that I can't even fathom.  Overall, this was a pretty quick read, and I would definitely recommend it to just about anyone.

My most recent accomplishment was finishing Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.  This is one of those things that confuses me, because I generally reading this book but it just seemed to last forever.  I think it took me over a year to finish this book!  It was one that I would read for a while, then have to put it down and come back to it.  It's an award-winning book, and I can see why, but it seemed that I would read for an hour and only have gotten through six pages.  Granted, the print was small and it is an oversized trade paperback, but still!  This is a love story that begins when the two main characters are in their teens/early twenties and lasts through into their eighties.  My biggest pet peeve was that for almost all the characters, their full names are always used.  Every time.  Through the whole book.  The book would probably be a full third shorter if they would just call the main characters Bob and Ann!

I am currently reading The Odyssey, and I have to say is miles and miles from The Iliad which I had to read in English class freshman year of high school.  It's still a little slow-going, though, because I have gotten horribly behind on my magazines and have been making a concerted effort to get caught up with those.  Consequently, my attention span for reading is down to only a few pages at a time.  So, we'll see... I basically need to finish about a (list) book per month to finish in time.

Also thought I would throw in that I finally attended an opera (#30)!  I have listened to opera music (in very tiny doses) and never cared for it, but I thought it might be different seeing one live.  Mmmm.... nope.  Still don't like opera.  I went to see Amahl and the Night Visitors at Christmas time, specifically chosen because it is short and was originally written to be performed on television, so I thought it would be more interesting and easier to follow.  Plus, it's in English.  And it was all of those things.  But I truly do not like all the vibrato that is involved with "proper" opera voices, and I have a hard time getting past that.  So I am resigned to being one of those people who can appreciate opera but will never really love it (as Richard Gere's character explains it in Pretty Woman!).

Movies, movies, movies!

I finished watching the last of my ten pre-chosen movies earlier this month (#67), so I thought I'd do a quick run-through of those.

Back in the Fall I watched The Godfather.  Let me just say that this is the longest movie in the history of movies.  Or at least it felt that way.  I rented it on my Kindle, and it comes with a 48-hour time frame to view it.  I had to rent it three times to make it through the whole movie!  It was just painfully slow, and the story didn't have much flow.  It felt more like lots of short vignettes just crammed together in an unending series.  I think it didn't help that this movie is so quoted and I kept waiting for scenes that I already knew about to happen.  Basically, I just didn't enjoy it, and I know some people would probably think I deserve to have a horse head show up in my bed for saying that, but could not wait for it to be over!

Next up was Million Dollar Baby.  This one I watched right after finishing The Godfather, and it was a completely different story.  (literally!  ha-ha.)  I actually found a Clint Eastwood movie that I enjoyed!  It was well acted, and even though I have no interest in boxing and there were some very violent fight scenes and I don't even like Hillary Swank, I enjoyed the story.  The movie kept me interested from beginning to end, and I can see why it won awards.

Vertigo was up next.  I love Jimmy Stewart, but this was definitely not my favorite movie of his.  The action felt a little tedious although the mystery-type storyline was interesting.  The part leading up to the ending confused me a little, although the way the story wrapped up was very good.

I watched Citizen Kane in December, and this one was another pleasant surprise.  Of course, knowing that Rosebud was the sled shown in the very first scene of the movie took away a little of the mystery, but this movie felt very modern in its acting and story even though it was released in 1941.  I went into this expecting to slog through it like The Godfather but ended up enjoying it thoroughly.  Yea!

And finally, there was Rocky.  Let me start by saying that I am not a fan of Sylvester Stallone, although I developed a lot more respect for him after reading on IMDB.com that he actually wrote this movie.  Again, I have no interest in boxing, but the overall storyline was decent and I mostly enjoyed the movie.  I think I might even try watching the next movie in the series just to see how his relationship with Adrian (ADRIAAANNN!!) turns out.

I'm glad I had this in my list.  I finally watched some truly classic movies, and now I'll have a frame of reference when I hear people talking about them or see them quoted in other movies or books.  I somehow feel more educated for having watched these ten movies (which sounds silly, I know).  Of the ten I watched, I am shocked to say that I think Million Dollar Baby was probably my favorite, but less surprised that The Godfather was my least favorite. 

Gone, but not forgotten

Okay, so I obviously have not posted in a really, really long time.  It was, in part, due to a dying (and now dead) laptop, but then when I finally did get a new computer (not all that long ago, and that I haven't really developed an affinity for yet), I have had a hard time wanting to sit down and get caught up.  It's been one of those things that becomes a huge brick wall in your mind, and then it only gets taller and wider the longer you avoid it, so it eventually feels completely impossible to get to the other side.  So, this is me drawing a chalk door on the wall and pushing on through.

This will be the first of quite a few catch-up posts, and then I'll be all current and ready to move forward from a fresh place!  I actually have kept my list, movie, and book pages current, and I really have been making progress on the list (albeit slower than I would have liked).  In checking through things, I have realized that I am less than halfway through, and that includes all the items that are ongoing things that won't get crossed off until the end.  This was an eye-opening moment, and I am going to have to come up with some sort of schedule so I'm not suddenly trying to finish 20 tasks in the last month!  I have already decided that if I do this again, I am definitely not going to have so many items that read something like, "complete this activity for one month, five times"!  Why did I make this so difficult for myself?!?  I guess I thought I was pushing myself past my comfort level, which is supposed to be part of the purpose of this project.  Hmph.  Still not going to do that, or at least think long and hard about what that means about reaching the goal of actually crossing everything off the list, before I make those kinds of statements again.

Another thing I have noticed in going over my list (besides the number of times I thought, "did I actually put that on my list?  I don't remember putting that on my list.  do I have early-onset Alzheimer's?  because I really don't remember putting that on my list.), is that things that seemed really fun or important at the time I wrote out the list over two years ago, don't necessarily rate as that great now.  But they're on the list, so they will get done.  My most recent accomplishment definitely qualifies in this category... sending a postcard to PostSecrets (#6).  I used to hit that site every Sunday to read the new batch of postcards, but I haven't looked at it in over a year at least.  It was such a voyeuristic pleasure!  Now I can safely say that I don't much care.  But I did send in a secret.  And it was the kind of secret that you wouldn't say out loud to anyone.  I have to say that it does kind of feel like a little bit of a release to let it go.  Like I don't have to use all that energy to keep it inside.  So maybe it really was a good thing to have on the list.  I just didn't know how good at the time!  As for the secret?  I'll never tell...

Ouch

So after buying some new reeds, I finally picked up my clarinet to play for the first time in (I think) ten years (#56).  Ouch.  Let me start by saying that my lung capacity is no where even in the same universe that it used to be.  I was panting after playing only a few scales.  And again after playing two lines out of an old exercise book.  My little practice session lasted just over twenty minutes, and I think I spent about half of that just trying to catch my breath!  The tone was very airy at first, which wasn't surprising, but by the end it started sounding a little like me again.  But the part I had been dreading most was the pain in my lower lip.  See, you have to place your lower lip over your lower teeth, and that is what pushes against the reed and the mouthpiece.  I long ago lost the slight callus that builds up inside your lip when you play regularly, so it was nearly raw (or at least it felt that way!) after my short little session.  Actually, my whole jaw hurt, along with my thumb (where the clarinet rests on your right thumb as a support) and my hands (from gripping to hard).  Ouch!

I was surprised at how much of it came back... as long as I didn't think about it too much!  There were a couple of times I had to stop and count the lines to see if I was looking an A or an F, but the fingerings were all there.  And it was fun, just really, really hard.  I think I might try to start practicing a little more often.  I checked online, and there are a couple of community bands around Indy.  Maybe I'll put that on my next list...

Turning 40

The big 4-0.  I still can't believe I'm 40 years old.  I don't feel 40.  I don't quite think I look 40.  And yet, here I am.  All that being said, turning 40 is a whole lot more fun if you can do it somewhere beautiful and with your best friend (#69)!

This trip was more than six months in the planning, but with everything else that has been going on in my life, the timing could not have been better.  When I tried to figure out where I might want to go for my birthday, the thought of staying at the beach somewhere really overrode everything else.  The only problem being that my birthday is in July, and, well, I hate hot weather.  So I had to find a beach somewhere cooler.  Which is how Oregon became the final destination, and the fact that I've never been there before made it even better (#52).

Truly, this trip was about as close to perfect as it could have turned out.  I rented a condo in Rockaway Beach right on the beach for a week.  The condo itself was beautiful, but the view was absolutely amazing...

I would highly recommend Rockaway Beach to anyone looking for a beautiful, quiet getaway.  The beach really was perfect... it was busy enough to make for some fun people (and dog!) watching, but never so crowded that you couldn't enjoy the views and a leisurely walk.  Here it is at sunset...

We visited Canon Beach...

and Garibaldi...

 
and Astoria...

and Washington state (so Mashelda could visit a state she'd never been to before!)...

and on my birthday, we toured the Tillamook Cheese Factory!  yum!!  A perfect day, since I think cheese is probably my very favorite food of all time!  (those big yellow squares are huge 20 pound blocks of cheese!)

Mashelda not only baked a birthday cake for me from scratch, but also cooked a delicious birthday dinner of scallops, spinach, and mushrooms.  That is a best friend, indeed!

This was the most relaxing and fun vacation I have ever taken.  Ever.  We saw many beautiful things, read good books, ate amazing food, and never had to worry about a schedule!  I guess if you have to turn 40, this was absolutely my way of doing it fabulously!

Dressing Up

I worked my first shift in the suiting boutique at Dress for Success last week (#87).  It was a two hour shift (one of the things I love about DFS is that their volunteer shifts are always relatively short, so you don't feel like you have to spend the entire day there!), and they schedule one client each hour.  This was truly a "see one, do one, teach one" kind of situation, and after a short tour of the space, I watched and helped out with the first lady.  She had an interview with McDonald's scheduled for the weekend, and she was not at all interested in the idea of wearing a suit to McDonald's, especially since she would be riding a bus in the 100+ degree heat!  Can't say that I blamed her, but the DFS pro assured her that wearing a suit would up her professional factor by leaps and bounds and it could be the ticket to a higher starting salary or even a place on the management track.  Each woman gets a suit (or jacket and pants/skirt separates if sizing is an issue), blouse, shoes, purse, hose, two pieces of jewelry, and two cosmetic items.  After seeing herself in the complete outfit, our first lady decided that she would actually wear her new suit for her interview!  It was subtle, but it was still pretty amazing to watch her attitude soften and her confidence increase over the course of that hour.  After they decide on a complete look, the staff takes the woman's picture which she then gets to keep -- both as a reference for what her look should be and to show her just how great she looks!  You could see how pleased she was with her final look as she studied the photo.  Then everything gets bagged up nicely, and they are on their way.

For the second client, I was on my own!  They generally schedule up to five client/volunteer pairs for any given time shift, so you're not in the boutique by yourself, but everyone is far too busy to really be involved in what you're doing.  Thankfully, this lady was very friendly and very patient with me!  We started out with a little rough patch in finding a good size for her, but after that, it all went well.  I almost forgot to have her pick out her cosmetics, but the woman in charge was impressed that that was the only thing I forgot (which made me laugh!  after all, she was the one who sent me off on my own after observing only one other appointment!).  The lady loved the suit she found, and she was honestly asking my opinion about which jewelery would be best and how she should wear her hair.  It felt a little like just going shopping with a friend.

The whole thing was over so quickly that I didn't get much chance to dwell on what was going on, but looking back on it, it was a great experience.  The primary reason I wanted to volunteer somewhere rather than just donating money was to be able to feel like I was truly doing something helpful.  This absolutely fits the bill completely!  I actually get to talk to these women and not just hand them something, but help them decide for themselves what makes them feel good and confident.  And hopefully that will ultimately help them have a better life in the long run.  I get to be a part of that process.  It's a good feeling.  And I can't wait to go back.  (already scheduled another shift for later this month!)

Oh, and I finally remembered to collect all my donations and drop them off while I was there (#89), so there's another one crossed off!